Monday, October 20, 2003

page 2

Well... we spent most of the day at Children's Hospital. Dept of Infectious Disease. And with all their expertise, we're still no further to an answer. Hudson may not be himself till christmas, if then. Please pray for him and for us, and for all the parents out there with sick kids. This really blows. Hudson just wants to be himself again and get back to school. He's missed more than a third of school this year. We may have to home school just to get him back up-to-speed with the other sixth graders.
more later
rob

Sunday, October 19, 2003

sadness

It's Sunday nite the 19th and I've spent most of the weekend working to find out what really is the matter with Hudson. Many of you have met his wild, 11-year-old self. We really need your prayers for him.

He's had pre migrane level head aches for all the time we've been home from the UK,
depression is somewhere in this too,
and he can sleep for more than 15 to 17 hours in a day.
He's throwing up: 3x on friday and once today.

I'm taking tomorrow off and gonna ream these doctors for not looking for more answers. He's had blood work, a CATscan, mono tests, tons of stuff, and we're no closer to solutions. I've had it! When little people get sick, your life kinda flips upsidedown. And Lilly is scared it's something really bad. They've done cancer scans etc with nothing to show. She's worried that something right in front of us is getting worse while we keep wandering around like idots.

So pray and pray hard!

tomorrow,
Rob

Thursday, October 09, 2003

Loo hoo, sa herrr

What if a blog is just one long rant? Will you leave?

Well, we need your prayers. I know God is good and all, but it just feels like all the places, people (read, you), and experiences we've had over the last two years are just a giant clamp. It's squeezing tighter every day. We have to change our lives to honor what we've learned and done. It's not a bad clamp, but it's forcing our lives to match what we know. Like dis-equilibrium in high school physics. Something has to give here.
Here are some basics:
1. We love water and need to spend our days there (live on Lake Mich, or Pacific NW islands, on water in UK etc. ) in the future.
2. Our house from now on must be a place that is open to travelers (thanks alot Jones, Stuarts, Birchenalls, and Fosters!!! Look what you're making me do!)
3. Our house must be a place where others can experience the sacred, and peace. And we can too.
4. Both Lilly and I need to do our gifts, and for people who want them.
5. Our boys need to continue to experience the love and power of community (more love, more power, more of you...)

Please pray that Jesus will integrate the desires of our hearts, and what He's already taught us. It would be sweet, dude.

Hey I miss all the freaks from Austin!! And Erica (funky), and Joel.

later,
rob

ps. Teresa and Bea we're prayin!

Sunday, October 05, 2003

What is happening??

Why isn't a promise a promise? Why do 20 year marriages end in divorce and destroy everyone involved? Today we heard of the second of our friends in 18 months to call it quits. What do you say? How can you help? By the time we hear, it's too late, it's over, thanks for caring. This is such crap!
Rob honey...
1. This happens and it will be better for them in the end.
Crap! What about the kids, the dog, and all your friends?
2. At least they are ending it amicably.
Crap! Maybe they should fight and try to save what God put together. It would be easier if they were screaming explitives daily so that divorce might be better.
3. Maybe there was an affair.
Crap! End the affair and find out what need wasn't being met and meet it.

In the end, nobody ever knows but those two, and that sucks. I've lost 4 friends I'll never really ever get back. And nobody has to appologise, or repent. This so sucks!!!

How much of a crappy marriage is bad sex? How much is one person being unwilling to change? How much is just being wimpy and not fighting for what should be.

And what's worse... both of these couples have plenty of money. That makes me nuts!!! Don't we think that's it's the pressure of lack of resources that will drive people apart? But most of the struggling couples I know are too worried to evaluate their marriage. They have a common enemy, their problems. Maybe that's crap too, but at least the kids don't say " I think marriage is a lie."

Rob

comment: rob@roblewin.com

Friday, October 03, 2003

Liver and Onions Ice Cream with Bacon Sprinkles

Maybe with some brussel sprouts on the side. The perfect kid foods.

Why am I just now learning about Keller Williams? Loser! What an awesome talent. See www.kellerwilliams.net
I want to go to a concert soon. Talk about creative. His music is so EmergingPostWabi; it's great. Each song is a journey, and the first time you hear it you don't know where it will end. Just him and a gituar.

Yesterday I promised to give you some begining links into Celtic stuff. Here are three.


This is a site for things about the Holy Island of Lindisfarne. It's an intro to going there and has some links about other things Celtic.
http://www.lindisfarne-heritage-centre.org


This is a community of believers who are focused on living out what the Founder of lindisfarne's Abbey...Aidan... (come on, it's the name of the blog, dude) lived and taught his followers. You can become a part of this group where ever you live.
http://www.northumbriacommunity.org


This site is the Comunity of Aidan and Hild. They are great folks, and are living the dream. I return to this site often just to re-orient and remember what's real. You can also join these folks as well.
http://www.aidan.org.uk/index.html

And finally: this best book to read to help you understand the full vista of Celtic faith:
"Restoring the Woven cord" by Michael Mitton
Here's a link so you can order it. Get this book!
http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/0232521018/qid%3D1065203432/026-9596363-7546043

Love you times 10 million,
Rob

Thursday, October 02, 2003

Yo Britney!

Great,
Now I get e-mails saying that adult, post 5th grade readers, even employed people don't understand my writing style. Yo, Britney, my spirit is bruised. Not. All-righteee-then! Think movies folks, Dude! Sweet! Think 8th grader. Think stream of consciousness. Sorry that I'm random or ADD or lost, this is my freakin' blog! Loo-whoo-zaaa-herrr. And for you serious types believing that somehow you're missing something here, you're not. It's all just fun, except for the serious parts. But those are easily found. Like yesterday.

So let's talk about movies. Three years ago Mac, my 14 year old, received an inappropriate movie for Christmas. He returned it and got Monty Python and The Holy Grail. Do I suck as a parent or what? So, much of my writing will be interspersed, dude that is a word (stop saying the word!) with Grail-isms. Like that. Also lots of Clouseau. What kind of a bomb is it? The exploding kind you fool!

Top movie of all time: no doubt, no question, no discussion: Lawrence of Arabia!

"Does Aouda serve?" A quote from Anthony Quinn in the movie.
See this movie on as large a screen as possible! It's so emergent it oozes. Dude. You should see me at 6'6" striding around our little house bellowing "Does Aouda serve?" Initially the children were terrified, like they were in trouble, but now it's like they're at the zoo viewing Dad as a loud, near extinct, large land mammal. It's awesome baby. Like Butta (Linda Richmann/Mike Meyers). Is my life one long movie and TV quote? Isn't that sad? I'm so totally media boy, dude.

MONEY

And about money. At the beginning of September I wrote how happy I was that money was finally coming together. Well, I was right, but early, you know counting your chickens and all. But nobody has said that what I'm currently writing doesn't match with that at all. And why not? Maybe you trust me that it will. God bless your sweet selves. Maybe I'm writing to one-legged space chickens incapable of verbal response. No lips.

And I've also been questioned on my sentence:

"5. He modeled valuing employment for what resources it provides, not the identity it provides. Work for money to solve specific money things, not have a career to build identity."

It's not from the bible, it's my take on Jesus' orientation about work. I've spent a long time working at valuing normal daily work as spiritual work. Doing full-time ministry as "real" work isn't neccessarily even valuable. I've done it. And lots of people in "the pew" think that life would be so much better if they were in full time ministry. It's a crock. Ministry in 90% of all the churches I know will suck spiritual passion out of a stone. I know this wasn't in what I wrote yesterday, but trying to discuss work and money in this way can get real mixed up. I don't mean paid ministry is a better choice than any other kind of work. Life isn't better if you get paid to do ministry. As Jerry cook once said, "If you can do ANYTHING else, do it!"

So I have no problem with hard work as spiritual and as just good for you. But Jesus never said, "Go work hard, invest in your future, give your kids a better life, education is important, be an entrepreneur, excell in all areas of your life, save for rainy day, education, retirement, do estate planning." It feels like work was just work for him, not a way to build a life. He already had a life. He didn't need to go and build one. Do we? Doesn't it feel to you like we've just accepted all this as normal, and forgotten that our model had no job, nothing? Does this resonate with you? Even if money is insane this month, and hurts right now, doesn't it feel like we've got something backwards?


Finally, for beginning journey stuff.

If you're a rookie to all this then you should visit jonnybaker.blogspot.com today. Jonny is a great resource for folks all over the world, and he's (let's say it together in Brit) Fantastic! He along with a few others, Steve Collins, Andrew Jones for example, helps me remember art, architecture, design, and space in general affect our lives deeply. And it is also deeply spiritual. (Are there ways to be affected deeply that don't impact spirituality? I think not.) His blog and these others talk about art etc. and beauty in general, constantly. So as a result, I feel included, informed, and capable of dialogue. It keeps my "cultural creative side" cookin'. He's also one heck of a bloke! Brit for Dude! I must also admit his installation at Greenbelt got the Gold Medal for me. Along with the air-conditioned fifth floor prayer area. Lovely toilets on the 5th floor. Many of the places I visit for content are out of the US. Whodathunkit? They're just way ahead. And so gloriously arrogant (kidding) about it. That's another week's blogging. Enuf for today,

tommorrow I'll get some Celtic url's for ya.

later
rob


PS. Toy- Love you, thanks for the input. See you soon.
PS. Adam, thanks for the props

So Freakin what?

What does all this jabber about money and jesus mean. Especially for an emerging world?
For me? It simply means I'm not a freak. And neither are you. All my behind the scenes doubt about this whole process of acquiring and buying and image and lust isn't so wrong afterall.
It also validates all the doubters along the way. Like Aidan or the bro's of St. frank. Refusing to be "economic man" and instead being poor when he could have been rich.
It also says which churches I can avoid. Cause money and it's power dominate, invisibly to many, how churches are led. And how we choose what to do for 2 hours per week is based on attracting the most people to get money.

I also feel like I'm on another planet when talkin with Christian friends. 99% of them are sleep walkin about money.

I also feel guilty. Cause I haven't acted on what I know yet. And bloggin makes me less crazy and less guilty.

And it's rugged to grapple with this alone. Lilly and I are praying for a small community of people who can walk this with us. Pray with us please.

Later
rob

Wednesday, October 01, 2003

Contact?

Hey, I'd like to get some comments on all this. So contact me at rob@roblewin.com. You'll be glad you did. ?

Plus; Lil and I would love to get some pics from Greenbelt and WABI-sabi if you got 'em. E-mail 'em to the same address. Thanks
rob

HOLD-ER-NOOT

That's the phrase my dad would use when he would barely stop for a red light, or when he felt he'd caught somebody doing something they shouldn't have. It's a kind way to say "stop" (not neee to an old woman) to attempt to avoid using profanity. Attempt. Anyway lots of feedback from the last two posts.

"Well are we just supposed to quit work?" Uh, no that's not doing the thinking part.
Here are what I see as issues in the Jesus as "unemployed dude" discussion. It may take a few days to get all of this out.
Top of the list is what I call Jesus being a self defining person. Gaa? What the hell is that? He had total, total control over what he did, who he was, the power he displayed, weakness he showed, how he spoke. Nothing in his life had any power to even micro adjust how he expressed his person. He had to give the molecules permission to exist, much less all the people, governments etc. He got to define who he was and what he did and did not do. Buddah, Mohammed, Gahandi were great leaders, gave great examples for living. But the could never self define who they were. Only God can do that.
So, dude- sweet. Yea. My need to know this may seem weird to you, but the way he allowed himself to be remembered, recorded for history, be communicated to me and you is his to control. And my assumption is that it was real intentional. Real intentional.

So with that in mind:
Why have no job, live off the generosity of others, be a vagrant, potentially lose the respect of his whole extended family, especially his parents and sibblings. (he had so much potential you know)?

To become totally socially powerless was intentional. To be financially/resource dependent was intentional. Again we all should say WHY. It seems so stupid. Really it does. This becomes even more important to face when we realize that 2003 Western culture (for the last 500 years) says the opposite. People who are intentionally powerless are insane? Yes? You bet!
So:
1. He modeled disconnection from being primarily driven by economics
2. He modeled abandonment of social norms regarding building status through having, especially to influence the opposite sex to choose him
3. He modeled being a non-owner
4. He modeled being a non consumer.
5. He modeled valuing employment for what resources it provides, not the identity it provides. Work for money to solve specific money things, not have a career to build identity.
6. He modeled abandoning plantedness and rootedness required for improving rank or income in a line of work, and prefering wandering, vagrancy.
7. He didn't seem to practically care about tomorrow. He wasn't much of a planner.
8. He modeled ineffiency
9. He moved out side his normal circle of influence, esp. socially to communicate with others. This creates an "outcast" label which influences capacity to earn and develop income.
10. His recorded dialogue about money refered to: abuse, control, alienation, idolatry, blockage to health, etc. Rarely or never does he discuss money the way we do. How much do you make? Where do you work? Where do you live? Maybe those are too trivial for the NT, but there's alot of other trivial stuff in there. There is very little dialogue about normal discussions about being a "have."
11. Finally, he was comfortable constantly rocking the boat. Asking wild questions. Being a anoyance. He just loved that stuff. But kinda woulda made a sucky employee! Dude!

So review and Discuss
Talk amongst yourselves, I'm "verklempt"

tomorrow,
rob